Ramblings on a Monday morning

My boyfriend and I were talking yesterday morning and he mentioned a conversation he had with his friend who is also dating someone but they are not yet exclusive yet.  He was talking about how dating women (without being in a relationship) is akin to liking certain foods. I.e. Mexican, chinese, american etc and how he really liked the variety because everything was always new and you get all the different personalities of the girls and you get a little bit of everything. He had been single for many years and has dated most girls for no longer than 3 months, so I'm his first serious girlfriend in a while.  The last time he brought a girl around his family was about 3 years ago from what he told me...and we just passed our 5 month anniversary date. We've been celebrating the months to make it more meaningful since like I said, he hasn't really ever been in a long term relationship and so the big day is going to be the one year mark.


However, he did ask if this weekend I'd like to meet his grandma so to me that's a sign of how much he wants to be with me. Meeting his family is important to him and so far I've met his mom, dad, sister, brother in law, nephew, cousin and aunt and 2 uncles...


I don't know what he saw in me that made him want to have a relationship, but it makes me feel kind of special that this "dating life" that he sees as so appealing wasn't as appealing as being in a relationship with me... but I'm afraid that his outlook on dating and how "exciting" it is will hurt our relationship.  I don't want to feel like he's always looking outside the relationship for something new that might catch his eye... I just don't want to have to worry about that.  I'm still going to be me and be my best self because that's just who I am and he actually motivates me even more to be my best self and that's why I love being with him. Some people can de-motivate you, like my last relationship... I just wanted to be my worst self... smoking weed all the time, being a glutton, being lazy... and I didn't feel good when I was that person.  And it's hard when you're in a relationship to get around those motivations or de-motivations when you live with the person.


I got that guy out of my life and now I have my current boyfriend... so really my main concerns are he's a flight risk and he has ocassional anger reactivity and we're working on that. He just gets petty and kind of mean when he's mad, so I've been learning to shut him down by not reacting. Other than that things are great. I know everyone will have their issues and no one comes problem free so I just have to decide if these are things I can work with. Things I can handle or learn to be less insecure about, because I know that life and other people are not in my control and I also know I cannot predict the future so I'll have to follow my gut instinct to point me in the right direction.. don't let me down now intuition. :) That's just a little bit of what's going on in my life right now.

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