New week, new goals

So yesterday my boyfriend called in to work because he was having back pain. I was already feeling nervous about not being around him even though we had a fantastic weekend. On Saturday we decided to do some shrooms and we had a really fun time, really fun... friday night and saturday morning were a lot of fun too. Saturday afternoon we went and renewed my recommendation and went to the dispensary to load up for a month or so's worth of herb.


We went to bed late Saturday like 2am and were lazy all day Sunday. I was pretty much at his house all weekend.


The reason I'm nervous is because Friday morning he told me this girl he was seeing, he calls her grinder girl, was "back". I didn't know what he meant so I inquired. He admitted to me he text her about 6 weeks ago when we were going through a rough patch, just to "see how she was doing"  and that she told him she was seeing some guy but then immediately she started talking shit about me to him and he said he defended me and listed all my qualities and why I'm good for him.


He realized the mistake he made as soon as she started acting exactly how she is... right? You'd think he'd know before contacting her, but he must have felt nostalgic about something and slipped into old habits. However, she contacted an old friend of his and started talking crap to her (not sure why her and not me) and he was afraid that she would contact me next. So that's when he admitted to me what he had done.

He told me he was ashamed, not proud and didn't want to hurt me so he didn't tell me before and he realized his mistake/learned his lesson; however, he also told me he knows those are not valid excuses for basically lying to me. So now I worry he might do something again and not tell me. Mind you it was only a text this time and he realized quickly what he did wrong, but it still sucks that he has to test my trust.  I hope he's learned his lesson, because I won't put up with it. This is his first offense. I won't put up with a lack of respect for our relationship. I have the urge sometimes to text/message my ex also and see how he's doing because I know the break up was hard for him, but I don't do it out of respect for my boyfriend. I used to go there in past relationships, but I won't do it anymore because I know how it feels and I know karma is a bitch.


Anyway, I'm working this week on loving myself and knowing I'm worth that respect in a relationship. I am an amazing woman with many many great qualities and I'm always improving myself. I deserve a man who will understand that and will offer me the same respect I offer him. The end.

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