I had some crazy dreams last night. It's funny because my boyfriend asked me if when I stopped smoking last week if I had more vivid dreams. I guess weed is supposed to mute that? Idk I mean I know I always have dreams but I don't always remember them unless I'm writing them down or talking about them right after I wake up.


One dream we were in some kind of mall and it was also a hotel--maybe similar to vegas how they have shops in the hotels? He parted ways with me and headed back to the room and I saw a friend of my from my hometown where I grew up. She was with another girl and the girl was like "Oh your boyfriend looks familiar" or something to that extent and then she tried to tell me that he was trouble but indirectly and I was like "Yeah I know all about his past and how he was a player, basically." Which irl yeah he dated a lot, but he usually didn't get serious with any girls because he didn't feel like they were the right fit for him. He'd let them know too, so it's not like he ever led them on. It's just a weird dream that I had. AND that's two nights in a row I had that same friend from my hometown in my dream. I haven't heard from her in years and really we were never that close, we just lived on the same block. Her cousin was my neighbor right next door.  It makes me think that I should reach out to her for some reason...maybe I will today.


Anyway... the dream didn't really bother me or anything, but I think it's funny in my dream other people are trying to point out how my boyfriend was with other girls like he's going to treat me the same way and as if I'm unaware of who he was. I guess what they don't know is how open and honest he's been with me and vice versa. Even telling me things I'd rather he not tell me, but I appreciate it more for the honesty than anything. It makes me realize he wants this to work and wants to put all the cards on the table so I know what I'm getting myself into. He hasn't been able to keep a relationship for very long because it usually goes south and he finds himself straying or the girl strays, whereas I have been in a 6 year relationship and many 2 year relationships so he sees me as someone experienced in that area.


Really, I just consider myself someone that doesn't give up easily and even when I feel like it's only me trying to save a relationship I stay...which in my opinion isn't healthy either. I should know when to call it quits. I think my past relationships have taught me that. Obviously it took years to learn it. Haha. Also, I'm an introvert so I tend to find someone and get into a relationship and stick with it because I don't meet many people. Whereas he's an extrovert and is always striking up a conversation with someone so he's had many options. Plus I had issues with being alone before and being single. I was terrified of it. Now I know I can do my own thing and not have to be part of "a couple". I have a few friends that I know would be there for me. That's a nice feeling. :) I think I'll reach out to them today to tell them how much I appreciate them.


Okay, I should get back to work! Have a great day everyone!



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