Day Three

I was feeling it last night. The need to smoke. I was feeling stressed and emotionally vulnerable and just needing that quick stress relief/relaxation that marijuana provides. The drawback to that is that it keeps me less motivated on the days I do use it. I have noticed when I don't smoke during the week that my brain feels sharper/more acute. However, it also allows my anxiety to seep in much quicker and stronger because I don't have that THC buffer immediately available in my bloodstream. I'm trying to work on ways to dissipate my anxiety without the need for the MJ. 

 

I'm actually on a streak for meditation... 31 days so far as of today. I also plan to go to a meditation class tonight as long as my mood sustains. My period is here as well, so you know, my mood could change by then. Haha. I have an errand to run after work, then I'll eat dinner and take a walk. Once I shower that's when I plan to go to my class. After that I'm having "me time" so I can download some of my shows that are returning this week and kick it until bed time. Watching tv, relaxing, maybe a bath and organizing my junk drawer---a task which I've been putting off for months now... Pretty much ever since my ex dumped out everything I had organized because he was going to take the organizer from me then changed his mind after he had dumped it all out... :/ There's just a lot of other every day chores that seem more important. :)

 

I can tell you I'm feeling the emotional slump this afternoon, but this morning I felt great and awake. I think maybe I just burned myself out? Plus my boyfriend had a strong reaction to something I said earlier and it put me in a bummed out mood. I told him I needed time to concentrate on work so that I could basically get over it. I know it's his issue and not mine, but it still hurt my feelings... I am pretty sensitive even if people don't realize it. Anyway, I'm gonna get back to work now. Thanks for reading. :D

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